Thursday, December 18, 2008

~ Better Days ~

Photobucket
Yeap, better days....  I do hope they are ahead.   Yesterday I arrived at the hospital for my procedure, though scared and nervous I felt confident things would be ok and I'd be leaving either late Wed night or first thing this morning all fixed up.   Not to be............
The procedure started smoothly.  I was awake and talking.  I felt a pinch here, a pinch there in my leg/groin area.  At some point they moved to my arm.  Not real sure exactly when as things are a bit foggy.  What isn't foggy is the end result.   They could not do any stents.  It was basically a bust.  The blockage is not where they thought it was, but higher.  More in my abdomen.  The main artery and were they break off to go to either leg. This is not going to be an easy fix.  Instead they will be doing another bypass.  Major surgery.  Apparently several things were contributing factors.  Family history, being a woman (who have smaller arteries), having smoked, and previous radiation.  Radiation causes things to shrink and I knew that but never in a million years did I suspect my arteries.  Lisa, I saw your comment from yesterday.  Tell your friend from work, ok?  If they already know that is the issue with her foot maybe they should go one step further and make sure.  Makes me nervous to think she could experience this down the road.  I'd not wish this on my worst enemy!!
So back to recovery.  I was a wreck emotionally.  My son hugged and kissed me.  Talked very confident and tried with all his might to calm me down.  Since they went in my artery I had to wait a few hours before I could go home.  Yes and home I came.  I had a board attached to my arm to keep it straight.  Virtually no pain, maybe just a bit discomfort.  My heart was broke though.  Emotionally I am drained and I'm not sure I can handle any other setbacks.  My son made me promise I'd not give up and try to be positive.  I will try, but let me tell you it is not easy.
So......... the surgery.  My doctor from yesterday wants to consult with all my doctors.  He feels we should wait a few months and let me get stronger.  I am waiting for a call from him to see what direction we will go in.  In the meantime he will put me on a blood thinner to try and help with the discomfort in my foot/leg.
I am now scared of what they might find when they go in.  Seems it's always something bigger/worse then what they anticipated to begin.  ::sigh::
I will most likely go back to work after the holidays.  Work has been great and will definitely work with me if I need to work from home for a bit.  I will take them up on the offer if need be so no worries on going back to soon.
The holidays have me a bit emotional too.  I feel like I've done nothing to contribute and it's eating at me.  My one sister is out shopping and has picked up a few things for me as well.  I just need to have something wrapped and under the tree.  Yes, I know no one cares, but I do.
I wanted to thank you all for your prayers and support.  I also appreciated the emails from those that went and got a brief update on my sisters blog.  She is definitely a gem!!
So I am trying to stay positive and keep my chin up.  I will also do my best to try and keep up with you.  It's just been so hard and I feel so very bad!   OOOOOOOOOOoohhhhhhhhhhhh and I did get Christmas cards, thank you!!   Love you all.  I know I didn't share my address with a ton of folks, damn time just flew by with all that's been going on.  Know good thoughts and vibes are being sent your way.
Hugs
~d

69 comments:

Lisa said...

Awwwwww hon, will keep you in my thoughts and send good vibes your way, You are a great lady and we all love you !!!!!, Hugs Lisa

Brittany said...

Oh god! It's Christmas for goodness sakes...couldn't they tell you something GOOD!

I'm so sorry but at least you will be going into this one Planned! LOL.
I like to think it's safer that way.

Linda Brown said...

Oh Donna, I am so sorry. I am praying asking our Father to be with you through it all for strength and encouragement.
Love to you.
Linda
llbrown247@aol.com

mammaw said...

OMG HUN I AM SO SORRY FOR ALL YOUE SCKNESS>.I HOPE YOU GET WELL SOON. WILL PRAY

lisa jo said...

my friend Bea went to her doc last week about her foot and they put her on a new med..i can find out what it is if you want...and it caused her to get very sick, vomiting, for days and they had to take her off that med. She shuffles at work and as the night goes on, she barely can stand and get her foot to move.
i love you so much....do NOT worry about commenting...we are always going to be here..if there is an emergency someone will email you or write it in these comments...i know you are so overwhelmed.....and just know you have so many prayers being said for you....prayer honestly DOES make a difference....this is a big setback but they DO know what it is and they CAN fix it...i just wish i could take away the pain and the worry.

Sugar said...

dearest donna, so sorry to hear this!
but hang in there, keep a positive attitude.
don't worry about the holidays or anything else, just concentrate on getting better.
got your name in my prayer box, so prayers will be going up with your name attached to them. {{}}
you have a loving family there, friends too. and we here in bloggerville love ya, too kiddo!!!
huggies..

Chrissie said...

Awww.. D I'm sorry you're having to go through all this again, but yes keep your spirits up.
My mother had terrible issues with this and she finally went to Houston at MD Anderson and they fixed her right up. She was there a month, but when she went nobody else could help her and she was near death. We thought all hope was lost too and she recovered just fine took time, but she got well and was around for many years to come. So don't give up we just had a millions prayers going.
Keep your faith and I'm happy that your son and family are their for you.
I understand the present thing because you just want things to be normal for a change.
Everything will be fine.
Take care and Hugs, Chrissie

Chris/cacklinrosie101 said...

D, I felt so darned bad when I read Nancy's update. I know you wanted to move ahead and beyond, and you will when the doctors feel you are strong enough to tolerate another surgery. I still cannot even imagine how you are feeling. You will get that present to wrap and put under the tree. Things will work out. There are far too many people praying for you. Love you.....

Bridgett said...

Boy, I wasn't expecting this...and I'm sure you weren't either.

I'm sorry, Donna.

It's a step back, yes...but if anybody can get through this, it's you.

You have a strength inside you that glows, even through your writing.

PLEASE DON'T LOSE HOPE.

Look how far you've made it already. You came out of that heart attack and cardiac bypass alive and well. The alternative might not have been so wonderful.

Try to focus on the that...that you're alive, you're with your family and friends, it's the holidays and you're here to share it with all of us.

Everything is going to turn out okay. I can feel it in every bone in my body.

And I'm here for you....

Bridgett

p.s. I would have sent a card too, love...but no address. I'll mentally send you a card. LOL

JCWillow99@gmail.com..( Cassie) said...

I am so sorry you had to go through that. I hope the blood thinner helps..
You will be in my prayers..
hugs, Cassie

Melissa said...

I hope u feel better soon *hugs*

MISSY said...

I'm sorry Donna that this didn't turn out the way you had expected. Please just keep doing your best and don't give up. You can still pull through completely and be back to normal but you won't if you don't give it all you've got. *M*

Joyce said...

Oh Donna, I'm so sorry the news wasn't better. You listen to your son and try to stay positive (easy to say huh). I think about you every day and pray that things will improve for you. Love you girlfriend.
Hugs, Joyce

FLORIDALADY4U said...

Donna ...you have been in my thoughts and prayers

A set back but keep thinking positive thoughts.

Hugs Mari

LadyLeo said...

Donna, I am so sorry to hear things are not going better for you. Wish I lived closer, I would come by and give you emotional support. I would be scared too Donna.I know the pain of having them go into your artery, that doesn't make things any better I am sure.I hope you hear from your Doctor soon. I will have my Sunday School class put you on our Prayer List. ((((Huggs)))
Linda

Linda's World said...

Oh Donna, what a shame. But it sounds like you have great doctors and that's a plus. And it sounds like you have people to help you when needed. I guess now all you can do is relax and try to enjoy the holidays. Take care, Linda in snowy & cold Washington state

Linda said...

Donna~ My heart aches for you ... more disappointments and worries you DON'T need, that's for sure. Through personal experience, I know it's difficult to keep thinking positive ... I'm so glad that you're managing to do that! Try not to feel "Christmas guilt", hon ... let others help you, they want to do it because they love you! The most important thing for you right now is to take good care of yourself & get stronger. I'll be continuing with my prayers ... Feel better!!

Peace~
Linda (ILBELLE)

Nelishia said...

I am so disappointed to hear this for you. I am thankful that it is fixable. I know you are disheartened but I want you to know you are loved. DOn't worry about commenting. We'll keep writing to you and keeping you informed. You're in the prayers of a lot of us for a full recovery.

Gentle hugs,
Nelishia

ADM DESIGN'S said...

so sorry to hear that, keep a positive attitude, hang in there. Keeping you in my prayers, Hugs!! Alvia

Jeannette said...

Oh Donna, that's such disappointing news to be given, I just wish things could have turned out better this time. Bless Steve for trying to keep you positive. I know he must be gutted to know this isn't over yet but remember it will get better for you soon. Nice to know that your work will cooperate and help you, it'll act as a distraction for you. Your doctors sound like they know what they're doing, trust them to get you back to your old self again. Don't worry about Christmas, your family know you're limited as to what you can do, I'm sure you'll make up for it after when you're up and running. Just take care of you, that's all I ask, sending you tons of prayers and good vibes that the pain in your leg and foot won't be so troublesome over the Christmas period. Love Jeannette xx

Beth said...

Donna, I'm so sorry about your disappointing setback. I know it's frustrating, but don't give up. You're in all of our thoughts and prayers.

Hugs, Beth

madcobug said...

I am so sorry that things didn't go as expected. I pray that the next surgery goes well and smooth and that you will soon be feeling better. I know it's hard not being able to get out and about during Christmas but I know your loved ones will willing to take care of and do things that you are not able to do. You have a loving family to be thankful for. Hugs, Helen

Jeanie said...

Dear Donna,

Place your hands in God's and he will see you through this tough time. You and the rest of your JLand friends know how powerful prayer has been for us all in the past.
You will be in my thoughts and prayers as usual. You have many guardian angels looking after you and you will come throughit all of this a stronger woman.
Meanwhile..catch all the love and good wishes coming your way and wrap them round you for your peace and contentment until after your operation.
God bless you and your family.
Much love
Jeanie xxxx

Maria said...

Oh, I feel so sorry for the disappointed news you got. I don't know what to say? I am glad you have your son and your sister close to you and helping you the best they can. I will keep you in my thoughts. My best wishes are always with you. Hugs, Maria

Jan said...

Oh Donna I can see from your entry how dissapointed and sad you are ,please take your sons advice stay positive at least the Docs know now what they are dealing with ,you are bound to feel so down you have been seriously ill ,it has to get better for you Please God ...love Jan xx

LYN said...

I FEEL THE SADNESS IN YOUR WORDS...I AM DEVASTATED FOR YOU...IF ANYONE CAN GET THROUGH THIS THOUGH IT IS YOU...
YOUR SON DOES YOU PROUD...

k2shine said...

Oh my dear sweet friend, sounds like I was reading my own sisters blog about Jim and her feelings. No big secret we are a stronge family of faith so I am just gonna lift you up in my prayers today.

Peace and comfort for you.
hugs, kim <-:P

ADB said...

You'll be just fine in the end, Donna, sorry to hear things were complicated than at first thought.

Jayne said...

D.

I am behind as usual :o((

I am so very sorry that things didnt work out as they should have, nothing seems to be straight forward. My heart goes out to you. Your son sounds like a tower of strength.... God Bless him. Try and take things a day at a time (easier said than done i know). I am glad that your work has stuck by you and allowed you to work from home too, that must be such a weight off of your mind.
Keeping you in my thoughts and prayers.
God Bless Jayne

Jeannette said...

I know how you must be feeling Donna, we expect things and when they do not turn out right for us, it is a bitter blow and a great disappointment. I am facing my own disappointment today although nothing like yours. I am worrying what radiotherapy has done to me now apart from totally wrecking my breast.

However, I do feel that you will come through it all just fine, something just tells me. I know how you feel about Christmas as well but get this behind you and next Christmas will be great.

You remain in my thoughts and prayers.

Jeannette said...

Just posted a comment Donna but it did not go through. You will remain in my prayers and thoughts. Everything will be o.k. I just know it.

Julie said...

Hugs, hugs, hugs, hugs, hugs, hugs, some more hugs, and a couple more for good measure. feel the love. One more hug. feel better.

Yasmin said...

Oh Donna sorry they were unable to fix the problem this time and now you require more sugery, keeping you in my thoughts and praying hard for you. Your work has been good in allowing you to work from home which will be better. Your son is right stay positive as you can.

Take care

Yasmin
xx

Big Mark 243 said...

I am going to keep reading and sending you my love, and I will keep you in my prayers.

BTW, the Wings showed the Sharks who really IS the best team in hockey!! One of 80 games, but I do think it was a statement!

Big Mark 243 said...

I am going to keep reading and sending you my love, and I will keep you in my prayers.

BTW, the Wings showed the Sharks who really IS the best team in hockey!! One of 80 games, but I do think it was a statement!

Bucko (a.k.a., Ken) said...

So sorry to hear the latest. I hope that you can try and enjoy the holidays. Be confident that they will fix things and you will look back many years from now and it will be a blur. My mom had quadruple bypass in 1984, cancer after that, and she is still alive and kicking, ornery as ever :o)

gina said...

hugs!!! you will be in my prayers!

Leslie said...

Hey hun, *BIG HUGS* Sorry i wasnt here sooner. Im so sorry about this news. My gosh hun what more can u take and go thru? Why does life have to be so trying and dman hard? :( My heart is breaking for u. I wish i had better words of comfort. But i will let u know i love yah i truly do. If u need anything let me know. Please feel free to email me anytime ok? I can even one of these days if ur comfy give u my number, we can chat :) Im sorry i wasnt able to send u
a Xmas card this yr. I would have if i knew ur addy i didnt get a chance to ask u :( Next yr ok? I will send u a virtual one lol. anyhow, I cant believe its this bad hun and u will have to have surgery again, another bypass :( I can see and totally understand why ur devastaded, scared, all kids of emotions. Your son has been amazing, such a great support and your family too. I know they will
get u thru this, all your friends will too. I have faith in God i really do this will be ok :) You keep praying and keep ur faith as will i. Im just so sad your going thru this pain and discomfort :( Hopefully that blood thinner will
help you though in the meantime. Thats good though u will be able to go back to work and be able to hopefully work at home somedays too. I will have to go by ur sisters blog soon. I havent been online much lately so i need to catch up, lol. Take care hun. Hope ur having a better day. Keep ur faith hun. Sending lots of love & prayers your way, Leslie

Hollie said...

Oh Donna,
I'm so sorry! I'm sitting here in tears as I read this. My heart breaks for you & your family. I've got to go back and find Nancy's link to her blog. Please know that you are in my thoughts & prayers, & as hard as it is.....PLEASE do not give up.

I know what you are talking about when you talk about Christmas, but I know that your son & family are happy with you just being here with them. You mean more to them than any present....
HUGS:)

Lois B said...

Dear Donna ~
My heart just breaks for ALL you've been through and now even something else! You are blessed with such supportive family ... especially your son ... how special he IS! I will DEFINITELY keep you in prayer dear lady, and hopefully, you will turn that corner real soon toward some better times ahead!

Lots of blessings this Christmas ... I'll be watching for your notes.

Hugs, Lois B

Christy said...

Donna I'm praying for you. I'm sorry I've been so bad at leaving comments, but I try to come here as often as I can.

God Bless and LOTS of prayers

Carlene Noggle said...

So sorry to hear that you are facing more surgery...but I am soooo very glad that they found where the blockage is!
Hope your Christmas will be a good one.Take care and take it easy. Love,
Carlene

Martha said...

Donna,
I am so sorry to hear things didn't go well with the surgery (((Hugs))). I can only imagine how stressed out and emotional you must be now. The holidays alone are a huge time of stress and I know someone like you can't just emotionally put that aside - and then to have to deal with your recovery, lifestyle changes and dealing with what's to come - it's all just too much!
I wish there was something I could do. I feel so helpless! If there is anything at all please let me know.
In the mean-time, you will continue to be in my thoughts and in my prayers.
BIG HUGS my friend!

Missie said...

You know you will continue to be in my thoughts and prayers.....

You'll get through this all because not only do you have a strong family holding your hand...

you have your J-land friends holding the other one!

Love ya!

Connie said...

Oh Donna-I am so sorry that you are going through even more medical problems.
I am sending prayers for your recovery from all this.I just know you'll be fine.Kepp a positive attitude-it really does make a difference.
Hugs sweet lady
connie

Traci said...

Big hug! I'm praying for you to feel peace and for the surgery to be a complete success. But for now just continue to recover. Blessings to you.

Malagutigrrl said...

Damn Woman! I am so sorry to hear about this. I know how you feel. The next thing on my table will be my brain biopsey and while I don't know when it's going to be I know it's coming. Try to stay calm and get strong and have faith that once they get in there and fix you you will really be fixed this time.
xo
MJ

Terri said...

(((((((((((Donna)))))))))))

I am so very sorry to hear this news...I just know you are devastated...I wish I could give you a huge hug in person...don't worry one bit about getting around to our blogs and keeping up...it's damn near impossible...even for me these days...lol Just take care of you...and try to have a very Merry Christmas with your family...Keep the Faith...everything will be just fine..know we, your friends..are always here for you....keeping you in my thoughts and prayers daily...sending good vibes your way...that everything goes smooth...when you do have surgery. Love ya!

Hugs
Terri

Miss Slick One said...

Always in my prayers :)
Phyllis in SC
MissSlickOne@yahoo.com (new temp. eddress)

kelly said...

Your in my prayers.. Sorry to hear the latest.. take it slow.. get well...
Kelly~

Darlene said...

prayers, prayers and more prayers and good thoughts being sent with tons of hugs and love to you, today and always D!!!
one step at a time and one day at a time D, remember this!
xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo
~Darlene~

Joyce said...

I am soooooooooooo sorry I am just now catching up...sending up many prayers for you my dear friend...love you...know I do care.
Hugs and lots of love for all you have been through...love,Joyce...and tnank you for your prayers and caring for my daughter...she just got home late tonight...

Pamela said...

Hi Donna, I'm so sorry things did not go like you wanted. But, it is workable. It sounds like you have great Docs, so I know you are in good hands. Will be keeping you in my prayers.
Love and hugs to you!

Sandra said...

Oh D, I`m so sorry you have to go through it all again. I`ll be sending up prayers and good thoughts are being sent your way.

Love and Hugs

Sandra xxxx

Lisa said...

I am so sorry you got this news & have to go through so much. You will be in my thoughts & Prayers.

Krissy said...

Sorry to hear that I will pry for you. Merry Christmas! I like you all your pictures and those cute grahics :)

Dawn said...

I'm so sorry to hear this news. Know that you have so many friends here wishing you the best aand lots of prayers are being said for you. Dawn

Anonymous said...

Love the new look. I have bookmarked you on my laptop.

Merry Christmas!

Gab

It's Just Me ~ Katie! said...

Wow - Not what I expected to hear. But I know your a strong one and will pull through all of this with flying colors and a positive attitude. My thoughts and prayers will continue to go up for you and yours my friend. Merry Christams to you,
Katie

Indigo said...

Breathe in, breathe out, relax...one day at a time hon. I know some days that's easier said than done. You made it this far, you will get through the next surgery and find your slowly returning to your old self (as much as you can). Your in my thoughts and continue to be in my prayers on the smoke dear one.

I hope today finds you immersed in the warmth of the season. (Hugs)Indigo

Gerry said...

Just to say I was here and am thinking of you, wishing you calm and strength for any upcoming ordeals. I know people in here who have had these operations and some have gone well and with others there have been complications like yours. My BIL for one is fighting these conditions. But he's hanging in here doing the best he can. You have many who are thinking of you and lighting candles in their hearts and minds for your recovery. Gerry

Shelly said...

(((Donna))) I'm sorry about your news that you will need that surgery. I will be praying for you. I know you can do this. Hope you have a nice Christmas. Love, Shelly

Gaboatman said...

Donna
I'm so sorry to learn of your set backs. I know how discouraged you may be feeling. Chin up, though, we are all praying for you and I am sure the good Lord will making sure you are going to be okay. Merry Christmas to you, you will remain in hy thoughts and my prayers.
Sam

Bethe said...

Oh hunnie, I am so sorry. You son sounds like a great inspiration. Brings tears to my eyes actually. I konw your energy and mind are low right now. Get your strength back sweetie and see what the Dr's say.

((HUGS))

Tabby said...

Donna,

My prayers are with you. I know you are scared but try to stay positive it has a great effect on your health. You have many people praying for you..you WILL get through this. I hope you have the best Holiday you can, enjoy your family who loves you!

Allison said...

Oh dear Donna. This isn't the best news in the world. I know in my heart you will be ok in the end but it is getting you there that is the difficult thing. I will always keep you in my prayers. I hope you have a very nice Christmas sweet lady. Luv ya lots!

Rose~* said...

My thoughts and prayers go out to you, Donna. Sending some (((HUGS))) your way, too. Your tags have been awesome, also. Remember - you are a special person and a terrific friend to many people. Chin up, girl!

Jude said...

Hi Donna;
This is the first time I am hearing about your illness. I've been so busy with my usual Christmas preparations, I haven't kept up with the blogging community. All hopes and prayers to you and yours. I pray that you are healthy quickly and on your feet.
Jude

Aileen said...

Hi! Donna
I'm late to everyone, and thanks for your visit.Not been around too much of late, knew you had been very unwell, but sad to hear of the latest setback. You have so many wellwishers, hope it works :>)
Love the Hair by the way!
commenting here as I've had trouble with blogs tonight...even my own!
Aileen...X