~ Fall 2009 ~

For those of you stopping by to see if there are pictures of my fall, or the effects it left one me, NOT!  LOL Of course I have pictures of my face and the black and blue marks.  Nose broke and full of stitches.  Eyes discolored and swollen shut, or almost.  The cuts below my lower lip where my teeth busted through.  My arm in a sling.  Ahhhh memories.  Memories that I want to put behind me and not share here. 

The scar on my nose is still pretty obvious.  I go back to the plastic surgeon at the end of the month.  His initial plan was to do a nose job as he wasn't happy with the look.  He, of course, doesn't know from day one I was cursed with the nose from my Mom's side of the family.  It's still pretty swollen so maybe when the swelling goes down it won't be so bad.  Or........ maybe I will go through with it and get a nice little petite nose perfectly shaped.  LOL

I saw the orthopedic Dr. last Wednesday.  He took the brace off but put strict limitations on the movement I'm allowed.  Doesn't matter, I can't do much with it anyway.  It's still pretty sore.  I can type with two hands now and that's a good thing for both work and play.  It does have a dull ache the past couple days.  Like a tooth ache or ear ache.  I can't decide if it's the increased use, the damp cold weather, the healing, or if it's all in my head.  Hmmm no it's not in my head it's in my arm!  I do feel improvement each day so that's a good sign. 

My new job has been great.  I love it!  I feel at home with my co-workers and they've accepted me with open arms.  It's nice to have that.  Not every place makes the 'newbies' feel welcome.  When I started the job I noticed right away the park nearby.  It runs along the Niagara River and goes for several miles.  There is a walking path, so many benches and picnic tables, and when I first started there were boats galore cruising up and down.  I missed boating season more or less when I fell, but I was itching to get to the park to take pictures. 

Every day as I went to work and drove home I would look at the park and imagine where and what I would take pictures of.  I knew I wasn't going to be able to lift my camera and hold it steady to take the shots.  It made me so sad.  I watched as the gorgeous reds, oranges, and maroon like colors fell from their homes on the outstreched branches.  I'd curse and hope that a few would last long enough for me to get my camera in hand. 

Friday morning I decided it was time.  I had to at least try.  I grabbed my camera on the way out the door and hoped the rain would hold off so I could stop at the park on my way home.  I knew there was no way I could lift the camera to my eye to look through the view finder.  My arm was not ready.  I decided I would try to hold it steady and tilt the camera so I could use the LCD viewer.  Holding my arm out in that fashion was doable for a short time.  After a couple seconds my entire arm would shake.  I knew this going in, but wanted... needed.  I know that might sound odd to some but I want my life back.  I know you can't go back, and you have to move forward.  I'm ready to move in that direction.  My head is, my heart is, now I just need my body to cooperate. 

On the way home from work I was a bit giddy.  Like a school girl getting to wear makeup for the first time.  The first dance accompanied by a boy.  I pulled into the first parking section.  Camara out of the case and wiggled my way out of the car.  Keep in mind the only arm really working is the right one.  I have to lean across to open the door.  Push as hard as I can to have the door open enough to get out.  I have a whole little routine that I've been following for weeks.  I'm use to it, but it doesn't make it any easier, any less of a pain in the ass! 

I stood with camera ready to go and felt the twitching and aching as I tried to focus in.  For a split second I felt tears in my eyes.  Not because of the pain, but because I didn't think I was going to be able to do it.  I gritted my teeth and kept trying.  Finally 'snap'!  I reviewed the picture and thought, 'yuck!  I moved and it's so blurry.'  I tried again, and again, and again.  The more I tried the better the pictures came out.  Not as crisp and clear as I wanted but they were coming out.  More tears... these ones of joy.

The sun was setting and I knew my time was limited.  I wanted to capture all the pictures I'd imagined in my head for weeks.  The Grand Island Bridge.  The dual bridges crossing the Niagara River to the island and then, of course, they are on the otherside of the island leading to Niagara Falls.  As I looked towards the bridge from the park I could see the sun setting.  The sky turning pink, red, and orange as the sun peeked through the clouds.  The slight hill in front of me blocked some of the view, but the sky was stunning.  I wish I could have captured the colors a bit better.  :::sigh:::

This black and white shot had been in my head for weeks.  It was harder to get then I thought.  The angle, the construction equipment stored at the base.  I worked around it and love the way it came out.  I will do this one again when I'm steadier.

All in all I'm happy with the results.  I'm proud of myself for not giving up, giving in.  I probably could have used one of these for the Photo Challenge, but I already posted one.  Don't forget to stop by and see the other entries.  Hell, pick up your camera and give it a shot you still have time!! 

One shout out to my boys.  They shit the bed horribly last night, but they have started the season very well.  Way to go Sabres!!  I am waiting on confirmation of my ticket purchase.  Stephan's girlfriend has her birthday coming up.  The past two years were tainted with ill health in my family.  First my sisters passing.  Two years and I still miss her every minute of every day.  Then last year my scare with the heart attack and triple by-pass.  This year I'm taking her, Stephan, and her mom to a hockey game.  Hell or high water we will be there! 

Enjoy your Sunday everyone!

Hugs

~d